Where I See God
Journal #28: Remembering

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.” Psalm 77:11

My mom said it would happen.  And it did.  I tried to prevent it by moving on and filling up that space, but it still happened.

My Facebook post read, “After my son’s wedding last week and getting my daughter started in her senior year, I put my house back in order and headed out to an amazing conference.  This morning a very somber emotion fell right on top of me.  Truthfully, I’m not sure I understand it other than 1) it’s the approaching change of a life season and 2) a slowdown moment after I’ve been running so long.  Curious about other moms who have experienced solemnness after life changes.  Any advice?”

Why after such a joyous and fun-filled event would depression dare to flatten me?

I realize that after many mountain moments people end up in a valley, but I had worked so hard to avoid the valley.  Scheduling a conference to follow the wedding was my attempt to move on gracefully.  My jump start to get back in gear.  However, it didn’t’ work.

I needed a moment to lament.  To mourn the change and remember how God has gotten me through things before and will continue to do so in the future.

Scripture tells us to remember the “miracles of long ago,” reflecting on God’s goodness.

My husband asked me what I wanted to do for date night. Honestly, I was longing to reminisce about where we’ve been and remember what it took to get to this point in life.  We took it a step further and perused around in the Forester visiting in order all the homes we’ve lived in since moving to Northwest Arkansthorntonville.1as almost twenty-five years ago.  Our very first residence is only a few blocks away from our current location, but the other three took us on a tour of our area.  We laughed at memories, teared up thinking through when we brought each kid home from the hospital to the little house on Tradition Avenue and reflected on the challenging moments God used to create amazing moments in our life.

We ended our date at a local pizza joint daring to dream on what our future might hold.  It was a beautiful evening that allowed me to lament the letting go of a season with one of my children and celebrate the times we have ahead of us.


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