“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.” Ephesians 5: 25-26
Tonight as my daughter and I walked our dog, Sherlock, around the block, she asked me this simple question, “What did your prom dress look like?”
The pondering look on her face and dreamy eyes told me she’d been giving the subject some thought, especially after seeing her brother prepare for prom with his beautiful date. In the fall she’ll be a freshman. Ideas linger with the curiosity of dating, romantic notions and “the perfect date” along with high school’s night of all night’s – the prom are just around the corner, as she tiptoes around visions that begin with beautiful dresses.
I’m sure my answer to her question wasn’t quite what she expected.
Since I didn’t get asked to go to prom, I went with friends; but, I didn’t decide to go until the last minute – as in two days before when two of my good friends talked me into it. There wasn’t time for dress shopping with all the other end of the school year activities, so I borrowed a dress, a simple mint green tea length dress with a lace overlay to wear.
It was a lovely dress, but it wasn’t my “dream prom dress.”
Prom was the only dance I attended in high school. Honestly, I was just thrilled to go. However in going, it wasn’t the romantic bliss that is often created from magazine covers and Instagram. It was a dance with most of my classmates. It was what it was. Awkward and clumsy in very nice clothing, in a hall decorated with black and white streamers and a cover band playing loud music.
I also shared with my daughter another prom story.
Not getting asked to prom had bothered me a bit. Once I shared that with my husband. It was about a year or so after we had been married. One evening when I returned home after work, my husband had a corsage ready for me. Then he took me out to eat and we returned home to his arranging a dance floor in the middle of our den. He created a prom for just the two of us so we could dance through the night. It was extra dreamy and super romantic.
As I shared both my proms with my daughter, she giggled a little at the idea of her parents dancing in the den and was a little surprised that I didn’t have a fancy prom dress for the first prom. Then I shared with her a truth I learned from attending both. In the end, prom wasn’t really the dance of a lifetime. Choosing a great husband was and that came after high school. I shared that we as girls tend to fantasize about “perfect evenings” like prom and weddings, when what we are really looking for is long term, more complete and satisfying. I encouraged her to look beyond dresses and decorations and seriously think about the partner aspect when it comes to romance, but also enjoy the fun events as they come along whether they are perfect or not. Celebrations are great, but romance isn’t built in an evening. Then I concluded with how grateful I was that her dad is a fantastic husband and how I was fortunate to end up with a years of fun instead of just one evening.